Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner
by MissMCullen
Summary: Ok so we all no that Edward loves His Car Volvo More that anything! don't we? Well What would he do if something went wrong! Lets see shall we?
1. Ruined

**Stupid, Shiny Volvo Owner**

**Ok so this is another story… I'm really just making this up as I go along!! I have not got a clue what I'm gonna write abut yet so sorry if this is bad!! Thanks 2 Bella (my friend not Bella from Twilight ha-ha) (sparklingbella26) whom is my best twilight inspiration =P**

**EPOV**

I'm always happiest when with Bella. But saying that I'm also rather happy when I'm in my car… ahhhh… my beautiful car.

"Oi!! Edward stop daydreaming! What is up with you lately! Do you ever stop thinking about Bella? She's-a-girl. Get that into your mind." Emmet screamed. Where the hell was he?! How can he see me when he's not even in the room?

"I thought you were meant to be in Alaska or wherever you were planning on going! Why did you have to come back? I was finally having some alone time, and where's Rose I thought you went with her. You haven't left her behind have you?!" Ok maybe that was a bit harsh but…

"No she's gone shopping with Alice… unlucky her! Ha-ha alone time"- RIGHT!

"Don't you dare call me a loner! And don't deny it, I do no what your going to say. How many times do you forget I can hear what your going to say before you say it!" Ha-ha I got him there! Opps is that the time!! I'm meant to be picking Bella up! And I can't be late again. Last time she was an absolute mess when I finally got there"

_Flashback_

_Bella was standing there. Dripping wet! How many times do I have to tell her? I WILL knock for her instead of her freezing to death outside! _

"_Thanks again for letting me no that your going to be late! I forgot about you calling to let me no. I would have gone inside!" she's so cute when she's being sarcastic. _

_Back to present again _

-Ok well in my defence she told me off for always texting her and calling her, because she never picks up the phone or reads the texts and so I don't bother half the time anymore! Ah well I'm not mad or anything it's probably my fault anyway.

Where the hell is Emmet? He's always there when you need him the least and DON'T want him and then when you need him he's nowhere in sight!

CRASH! Ok what the hell was that?! Is he in the kitchen?! Oh please don't say he's trying to make lunch for Bella again! Last time that happened it was a disaster!

_Flashback_

_I ran round to get Bella out of the car. What the hell is all that noise?! Oh my gosh and that music! It sounds like the music my family played when they were making dinner when Bella first came round. I took Bella upstairs to see Emmet frying in a frying pan what looks like a load of gooey paste… Was that water and flour?! _

"_Erm Emmet what are you doing? Are you trying to make pancakes?" Bella actually knows what he's trying to make!_

"_Oh yer what do you think? Ive made about ten so far… Well ive put together the mixture for 50 and they all go so well but then I get to the flipping bit and well… they don't quite go to plan" He looked up to the sealing. Bella's eyes widened to a horrified look and stared at me. Right she only does that look when something is going to annoy me. I looked up to the ceiling to see a load of yellowy goo dripping from the goo covered ceiling! _

"_EMMMMEEETTTTT!!!!!!!!"_

_End of Flashback_

Ok that's not coming from the kitchen. That's coming from downstairs! What can he crash downstairs? Books don't make that sort of crash. Metal makes that sort of c-ra-sh!!!! No. Not the garage! Is my… MY CAR!!!! Right he better not be in the Garage! Let's check. I reached the door and opened it to see Emmet picking up a load of junk from MY CAR!!

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY!!!"

"Nothing I just well" He didn't have to explain.

_Ok quiet down! Carlisle's gonna hear you and I'm gonna get in serious trouble! I was just trying to get something from the top box and it kind of knocked all the other boxes down on to your car. It's not my thought you always park your car in the wrong place. You need to look in the boxes before you park your car. I always go in those boxes. You know that! _Emmet thought.

"Oh believe me it's not Carlisle you need to worry about! You never go in those boxes! You should move your precious boxes to a lower shelf or down into the basement! I will get you back for this!"

Hmm how can I … YES! Emmet will seriously wish that he never went anywhere near the garage or my car… ever!

**Thanks for reading. I don't no what Edwards idea is so if anyone has any ideas PM me. Rate&Review please thanks xx **


	2. Time to tell

**B.**

Ok so Edward was late. I got drenched and slipped over on the ice while waiting. No big deal (well to me). I was standing inside my house with Edward. After he arrived we had gone inside so could lie down after my second fall of the day. I was now lying on the sofa and Edward was sitting on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"You should have waited inside. I've told you that if I'm late go inside." He explained once again.

"Ok I'm sorry I'll wait inside. What were you doing anyway? You're never usually late?" I could see Edward hesitate. My Edward. Mine. Always. I love thinking of it that way. Forever.

"Bella. Hello?" Edward was clicking his fingers in front of my face.

"Oh sorry I got distracted." Again. By thinking about him.

"That's fine. Anyway I've been trying to find a reason to play a joke on Emmet. And I've now got one.

**E.**

"And now I've got one." I could see Bella's Face go from curiosity to confusion.

"What did he do now?" She seemed to ask that in a very casual tone, as if she is used to him always doing things to me. I don't always complain about him do I? I can't even remember the last time I complained about him… well apart from this morning when he Broke one of the keys on my piano.

"Oh he only crash. Destroyed. Dented my baby! The poor thing!" I could feel myself raising my voice but I dread to even think about it. I had to use Alice's Porsche this morning to hide the embarrassment of what I am meant to be driving. I don't even know how long it will take to fix a company. I would usually ask Emmet to help but no way is he going anywhere near my car anymore! Bella looked at me horrified.

"You…Your what? Your baby? You have a baby. What! Were you ever planning to tell me about this? How can you do this to me? I thought we were meant to be together?! Is it even possible? Can you even have kids? Don't you mean scar? And how can you crash and destroy a baby? Are you trying to tell me that Emmet is a murderer?! And i'm in the same house as him. I mean what-"No…no. I was going to laugh! I burst into laughter and she just looked at me upset. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't even stand up right! I can feel myself falling to the ground in a ball laughing so hard. Oh I can't upset her.

"No no no. I mean my car. My car is my baby. I would never dream of cheating on you! Emmet threw a load of Heavy boxes at my car and now it's all dented! So I had an idea. You and rose are going to help me. We are going to trick him big time!"

"Ok then…" She got up and came and sat on the arm of the chair next to me. I kissed her but again it became too much for me so I pulled away. Bella sighed.


	3. pitch

**R.**

I'm bored, very bored. There's nothing to do anymore. Emmet's suddenly gone all weird and quiet and ive got to sit here all the stupid night and all the stupid day!

I could hear Alice's porche driving swiftly up the road towards the house. It made a hell of a lot of noise! Edward had to but her the most expensive (and noisy I must add) car there is didn't he! Anyway what's she doing home? Isn't she supposed to have gone hunting with Jasper and Carlisle? The car door opened… oh great just my luck! Great its Edward and his "precious" Bella/ They walked in and Edward sat on a

Chair with Bella on his lap. I could see Emmet move himself as far as he could from anyone else in the room. He looks scared? What the hell is he playing at? Edward started laughing from across the room.

"Oi Edward get out my head!"

"Fine, fine but I need your help. Meet me upstairs" He needs my help? When has he ever needed my help?! Because he's always right isn't he. Ohh maybe he's lost his touch!

"Oi shut up and get upstairs!" Arghh

"Fine, fine I'm coming, I'm coming"

**E. **

Rosalie stomped upstairs without saying another word. I followed and walked upstairs and I could feel Bella walking close behind me. We walked into my room and Rose turned and stared at me.

"Right what do you want because I do have better things to do with my time?" I heard Bella sigh behind me,

"He wants to talk to us about getting back at Emmet because he dented Edwards car" I could hear Rose snicker when Bella mentioned my car. She'd obviously been told the story by Emmet.

"Right so let's get back to the point. Emmet crashed my car and I am going to get him back. I have a plan but I need you two to help me.

"What do I get in return?"

"w-what NOTHING! Just the fact that you managed to trick Emmet?" Rose Snickered and gave me a very sarcastic look.

B.

"Ok ill help you on one condition. You let me and Alice" -Edward cut her off.

"I will do anything I promise. Ill shake you on it" Wow Rosalie must be really good at hiding her thoughts around Edward! He obviously doesn't know what she is going to do. They shook hands. Uh oh! Rosalie's condition must be bad. I can always tell by the look on her face.

"Right so me and Alice are going to paint your car pink." Edward's gorgeous topaz eyes widened. I think he would have started crying if he could!

"You wh-what?! No no no!" She gave him a very stern look. "ok, fine, fine, fine. Right this is what we are going to do… We are going to play a fatal game of truth or Dare. And it's all going to backfire on Emmet!" Uh-oh" Fatal for them? That's got to be bad very bad. And how is he going to make it backfire on Emmet when he could dare us to do things that are bad too?

"Errmm. ok then? Is it really that bad when you all play together? It can't get that bad because surely by all you mean that Carlisle and Esme play to?" Edward just laughed. I'm not sure if it was at me or what I said. I do hope it wasn't at me.

"Oh yes its bad. We can do anything because we hardly get hurt badly! Yes they do play but they don't mind if its really bad. Although they were kind of annoyed when Alice pretended she was dying at school and then she got taken to Carlisle in an ambulance. And that did kind if effect the family reputation so you can see why they got annoyed." He laughed to himself and I think I even heard Rosalie giggle.

"Wow you really are mean when you play this?" I could see Rosalie step forward out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes we are mean and ok I will help but how are you going to make a game backfire on Emmet I mean anything can happen in our games."

"Don't worry this is the plan rose you are going to be the leader of one team and I will be leader of the other. Then my team is going to have Alice, Jasper, Bella and me on it and you, rose are going to have Carlisle, Esme and Emmet. As the team leader you will only give us small and harmless things to do but we will give most things to Emmet except a few things which will be harmless to you, Carlisle and Esme. I promise. And I had one idea for Emmet. Make him shave his hair off!! So what do you think? Are you up for it?!"

"Yep definitely"

"Ok-o-k" Ok I definitely sound worried. That's because I am. How far was Edward willing to go with this?


End file.
